Chapter 1069: Shameful past  

However, when his eyes caught sight of his mate not too far from him as Lilac was trying to talk sense into him, Jedrek knew it was far from over...

"You are going to kill her!" Lilac cried when Jedrek was strangling Violet's neck, hell bent on killing the witch.

Yet, that was not the worst part, because Jedrek remembered what he had done to his mate next...

The ruckus happened just like how Jedrek remembered, until he watched himself holding Lilac's hand forcefully as his grip became deadly.

Even from his position now, Jedrek could hear the sound of the cracking bones under his pressure and Lilac screaming in agony.

His mate's face became pale when she writhed in an almost unbearable pain when Jedrek broke her left arm.

The bastard king finally let the guardian angel go, but he did nothing to console his mate, who was suffering in pain because of him.

"Throw her in the dungeon," Jedrek said when a guard approached him.

Jedrek had never felt this bad like he wanted to kill someone... but, that someone was himself.

He caused Lilac so much pain and that was not the end to his madness. This was only the beginning...

Jedrek was on the verge of questioning himself, moreover the decisions that he made throughout his existence, when the scene before his eyes changed once again...

Now, he was inside a dungeon.

The foul smell of this place hit Jedrek's senses when he watched Lilac crying silently, as her tears flowed from her eyes nonstop...

The guardian angel cradled her left hand gingerly, biting her lips in order to endure the pain that she was feeling right now, but it didn't seem to work at all...

Lilac was no different from normal humans, such pain wouldn't go away easily like the case of those shifters. She didn't have their healing ability to reduce the pain.

And now there was nothing Jedrek could do aside from approaching her and fall to his knees beside his mate.

"Lilac... what... should I do?" Jedrek stammered, his trembling hand stretched out as he wanted to touch her, but he couldn't. That invisible wall prevented him from doing so... "I am sorry, forgive me..."

Lilac couldn't hear him, but another tear fell on her cheeks again when she shut her eyes and scrunched her brows.

"What should I do? I am sorry... I am sorry..." Jedrek had never felt so helpless like this, even when he watched Serefina die in his arms and he told her how much he loved her, that feeling couldn't be compared to this...

With Serefina, it was love. His first love, a tough love that he had to bid farewell... But, with Lilac, it was different...

His feelings were complicated, Jedrek felt all the feelings that he could imagine; sadness, love, self- abnegation, kindness, fear, hate, happiness, peace... all those feelings came to him during the short time he spent together with her.

"Lilac... I am sorry..." Jedrek dropped his head on to the ground, beside Lilac, as tears streamed down his eyes like a broken dam. "I am sorry... I am sorry... I am sorry..."

Jedrek couldn't bear to watch what other wrong things that he had done to her after this, making her life more miserable than this...

He killed her, broke her arm, trapped her in a realm from where she couldn't escape for a year and betrayed her...

He was the worst creature of all lycanthropes...

And what did Lilac give to him in return? Her endless faith, kindness, love and patience... Everything that Jedrek didn't deserve to ever experience...

Just how could he hurt his mate to this extent? How could he hurt such a beautiful soul like her?

Lilac gave Jedrek the happiness that he had long lost when she agreed to be his queen and many nights that they spent together...

She softened his heart and tamed his anger. She became the perfect queen and handled all the hurdles that came to her way, alone, as her mate was a piece of trash that wouldn't stand by her side to protect her like how a mate should...

Lilac fought alone and she still had that tender spot in her heart to give Jedrek the love that he needed, strengthening the mate bond between them.

Yet, Jedrek ruined it by doing the thing that he wasn't most proud of...

He clearly saw the pain in Lilac's eyes as her heart was being torn apart at the very moment she chose to walk away to give Jedrek and Serefina time to be together during the latter's last breath.

Jedrek felt the darkness draw him in further and further...

It was like a black hole that was sucking his soul, leaving him with nothingness...

And the only sound that Jedrek could hear was his own voice that kept mumbling the word; forgive me... but, no one answered him back.

If only he could start all of this again...

But, what kind of expectations did he have?

'Jedrek...'

Someone from afar was calling his name, along with the spark on his right shoulder. His mate was touching him.

Jedrek couldn't be mistaken. No one else could give him these tingly feelings.

However, was he still inside the illusion of his shameful past? Or, had he finally escaped that? And was it really Lilac, who was touching him right now?

"Jedrek?"

Her voice was laced in worry and anxiety, the sound caressed Jedrek's ears like a morning breeze after a night of storm.

Jedrek didn't know that his body was trembling right now, but the moment his eyes fell on his mate's figure, and when their eyes met, Jedrek was shaken with the fact that his mate was still staring at him with tenderness... and love.

What had he done to deserve such a beautiful soul like her? When all he did was hurting her over and over again...

"Are you all right?" Lilac was now crouching down in front of Jedrek.