Chapter 43  

Lucian watched Hazel in her sleep. He had been watching her for a while now, but he never seemed to get tired. How could he? She was the only thing he ever wanted and now she was his.

He looked out the window, it was almost midday but they were still in bed and Hazel was sleeping. He was relieved that she was safe even though his demon had taken over completely last night. It had scared him but Hazel hadn't been scared. She had still wanted him and for the first time, he hadn't despised his demon. He had accepted it instead and it brought a strange feeling of freedom. No more demon crawling under his skin anymore, rather, he and his demon had become one.

This made him remember the strange man's words. Don't fight your demon too much, accept it instead.

How did the man know that he would find peace if he accepted his demon? Whoever the man was, he wanted to meet him again.

He gazed at his wife again. His foolishly courageous wife. To seduce him even though he had warned her clearly, it amused him. He traced her cheek with his fingers. She was indeed stubborn, very stubborn he thought. Her eyelashes were still wet from crying and her lips swollen from all the kissing. He should have gone easy on her, but how? He had waited so long. So long to hold her, kiss her, and touch her and now he could do all of that, without the fear of hurting her.

Tugging her into his arms, he closed his eyes.

I woke up with a smile on my face. The words I love you echoing in my mind. There has never been a happier moment in my life then that when Lucian, my husband, told me he loved me. The sincerity in which he said the words made all of my doubts and fears disappear.

And then he had kissed me, like never before. His kisses expressing the unspoken words, making me forget everything else than the man holding me in his arms.

Lucian. He was indeed 'Man of light'. I just wished he could see that and stop believing he was a monster.

The memories I had seen had been so painful. I was able to feel the void in his heart and my heart ached for him. I couldn't imagine how it must have been for him to live like that, all alone, unloved, scared, and confused. How much pain he must have endured, so much that he was willing to take his life. My heart clenched in pain at the thought. He was just a child. How could his own family have treated him like that?

They were the monsters not him.

Looking at him I ran my fingers through his hair. "I'll make you forget." I whispered.

His lips curved into a smile.

"I thought you were asleep." I said.

He opened his eyes.

"I was. Your finger in my hair and your sweet voice woke me up." He trailed his fingers down my cheek.

"Now tell me. What will you make me forget?" He asked.

I shook my head afraid to tell him. Would I be able to make him forget all the bad memories?

"Nothing." I said.

"I just..." I began trying to keep my voice neutral as it became hard to breathe.

"You just what?" he said nibbing at the sensitive flesh under my ear. I bit my lip to stifle a moan.

"I want... to make you forget all the bad memories." I breathed.

He drew back and looked at me, his eyes filled with love and tenderness.

"Hazel. You make me forget how to breathe, let alone bad memories."

With a smile I snuggled against him, but then my stomach growled.

Lucian chuckled. "We should get something to eat."

No, I didn't want to leave his arms but I wanted to eat something too. We had been laying in bed for too long that we had missed our breakfast and maybe he was hungry as well. I forced myself to sit up then swung legs down. That's when I saw my beautiful white gown on the floor, ripped and torn.

"I am sorry about that." Lucian said running his finger through his hair, innocently.

Wrapping the sheets around me I jingled the bell on the nightstand and a maid came in immediately.

"Bring me Irene." I ordered.

"I am sorry My Lady, but who?"

"Irene. Bring me Irene."

The maid, I think her name was Nora, looked at me confused.

"My Lady, I am sorry but there is no one called Irene."

"Alright. Just bring me the maid who was here last night."

"I was here last night My lady."

Alright, now I was confused.

"No you were not. A maid called Irene was here with me."

The maid looked at me, confusion and fear in her eyes.

"My Lady I have never even heard that name." Her voice quivered.

How was that possible? Irene had been with me all these days.

I stood up. "So are you saying I had been without a maid all these days?" I asked.

She shook her head.

"I was serving you My Lady."

I sighed in frustration and disbelief.

"Little girl. Why don't you call the head maid." Lucian said standing up, the sheets only covering his lower body.

The maid looked down quickly her cheeks turning a bright red. Nodding she left the room.

"What's happening? Who is Irene?" Lucian asked.

"Irene is my personal maid. She had been here with me all these days and now she is telling me there is no one called Irene."

He frowned. Yes, I was confused too, but then suddenly I got scared. Irene was a witch. What if she had been discovered and burned alive? Or maybe the bloodthirsty king had found her and made her his sex slave? No, no. I shook my head.

"Is something wrong?" Lucian looked worried.

There was a knock on the door and next an old lady came in.

"My Lady, Your Highness." She bowed deeply. "I am Margaret, the head maid. You called for me. How may I help you?"

I looked over at Lucian.

"Do you happen to know someone called Irene?" He asked.

"No Your Highness. Never heard the name."

"Who had been attending my wife?"

"A maid called Nora had been serving My Lady, Your Highness."

I stared at her in disbelief.

"You may leave." Lucian said and she left.

"She is lying," I told Lucian.

"What makes you think so?"

"I think the king took Irene and told everyone to keep it a secret or maybe they discovered that she is a w.."

"She is what?"

I hesitated for a while then decided to tell him.

"A witch," I whispered.

Lucian blinked several times then laughed.

"A witch?"

"Yes."

"And what makes you think Rasmus took her." He asked.

"Well, he loves women, and she is extremely, extremely beautiful," I said.

"If she really is a witch I think she can take care of herself, and if Rasmus took her, then... you know we can't do anything about it."

Well, it was true. Maybe she could use some magic to save herself. Still, I was worried.

I took a quick bath then joined Lucian for lunch. We both ate in silence and for the first time we both finished everything on the plate.

"I think you regained your appetite." He said.

I had always loved food but had lost my appetite since I came here due to all the stress.

"I don't think I could ever get enough of food." I smiled picking a strawberry from the fruit basket, and taking a bite of it.

Heat flickered in his eyes. "I know I could never get enough of you."

Heat rose to my cheeks at the way he looked at me.

"You shouldn't look at me like that. We just got out of bed." I said.

"I know. Yet I want to take you back there right now."

The intensity in his eyes made me swallow the strawberry without chewing it completely and he laughed.

"We have plenty of time for that, I am in no hurry." He smiled.

The thought of him making love to me again and again made my heart flutter.

Clearing my throat "Lucian, how was I able to see your memories?" I asked.

He thought for a while.

"I really don't know." he said with a frown.

"And you don't know what you are?"

"No."

How confusing and lonely it must have been for him to not know what he is and not be able to tell anyone.

"What happened when you...when you..."

"When I decided to end my life?" He finished. My heart clenched once more.

"Did you jump?" I asked carefully.

"No, I didn't."

I let out a sigh of relief.

"What made you change your mind?"

"I guess there was just a part of me that refused to be weak. I refused to give up and give my father and brothers the satisfaction of seeing me dead." He explained.

I thought about what would have happened if he had jumped. I would never have met him, and I would never have married him, but most of all I would never have fallen in love with him.

Yes, I loved this man.

I think I felt something for him from the first time I saw him, when I had looked into his golden eyes. I was spellbound since then.

"Do you know your eyes are the first thing I fell in love with? You shouldn't hate them. They are beautiful."

I could see in his eyes that if the table hadn't stood between us he would have kissed me. Even though I enjoyed the food, I suddenly wished the table hadn't been there.

As if he knew what I was thinking he stood up and walked to my side. Then he reached for my hand and pulled me out of my chair, bringing me closer to him.

"Hazel." The warmth in which he said my name made me want to melt. "Thank you for existing."

He took both my hands in his and kissed my knuckles.

No one has ever thanked me for anything and this man was thanking me for existing. I didn't know what to say or feel.

"No one has ever cared for me so I never learned how to care for someone. I know I have been a bad husband, avoiding you, hurting you and not being able to protect you. I promise to be a better husband from now on, I promise to cherish you."

I felt tears in my eyes. The truth was, I was the bad one. Yes, he had avoided me and hurt me but now I understood why. He was hurting himself, it must have been so hard for him to avoid me, to live hiding the real him because he was afraid I would hate him just like his family. It must have been hard to live afraid to hurt the person you love.

He had been so alone and I hadn't noticed. Instead, I had distanced myself from him, misunderstood him and denied him his rights as a husband. I know that if it had been any other man he would have used me without my consent and then ignored me for the rest of my life.

But this was Lucian, the man I loved. I must have had a reason to love him and I knew the reason now.

"And I promise to be a better wife."