Chapter 4:  

The wind became stronger and finally, a snowstorm started in the late afternoon.

It was November and the winter in Norway was incredibly snowy and cold.

Norway’s capital, Oslo, was famous for its ocean, parks, and clean quiet streets. It was busy with great stores and restaurants.

In the suburban area of Oslo, Silje lived in a two-story detached house with her parents in a quiet neighborhood. By the time she returned home from school, the driveway was covered in white snow.

Silje opened the front door and entered quietly.

Inside was a cozy space with a red brick fireplace and decorations of candles and lamps. Her younger brother Valter was on the sofa while her adoptive mother Olga was busy cooking dinner. Her adoptive father, Frank, was still not home from work.

“I’m home.”

When Silje arrived, Valter said crudely, “Hey you! Why are you looking all guilty? Stop slouching and keep your head up, you idiot! By the way, I hear you had an incident at school, right? A huge one too.”

Valter was two years younger than her and her adoptive parents’ biological son. He was a chubby boy with red cheeks and an average height. He looked just like their father, Frank.

Silje slapped Valter’s foot hard. It was a difficult day at school, and she didn’t need her younger brother’s rude comments. Valter started to cry.

“I’m gonna tell Mom!”

Silje didn’t waver. She narrowed her eyes and said to him coldly, “I told you before. Don’t be rude to me. I am not an idiot. I am your older sister and don’t forget that. I told you I will teach you good manners if you continue to behave this way, right?”

“I’m gonna tell Mom! You are gonna get in trouble.”

Valter continued to cry but Silje didn’t show any sympathy.

“Do whatever you want. Go run to your mommy like a baby and tattle on me. Do it and see what I do to you.”

Valter looked at his sister fearfully and suddenly stopped crying. He then ran to the kitchen.

He called her an idiot.

She was still furious about what had happened at school, but she looked at her brother and shrugged her shoulders.

This was a normal occurrence. Valter always treated his older sister with disrespect and their mother Olga didn’t do much to stop him.

When Silje sat down on the table after washing her hands, Valter quickly glanced at her and opened his mouth. He looked determined to get her in trouble.

“Mom, Silje got into huge trouble today at school!”

“What are you talking about, Valter?”

Olga was setting the table with dishes of fenalar and eggs when she looked up with concern.

Valter secretly stuck out his tongue at Silje before adding, “I don’t know. All I know is that I was super embarrassed. Apparently she fell off the building today.”

“What? Is this true?”

At her adoptive mother’s surprised face, Silje bit her lips. Before she could explain, Olga’s expression turned icy.

Olga was an average middle-aged woman with short silver hair, pale skin, and ruddy cheeks. She looked kind yet stubborn.

Olga was worried that she would have to bother her husband with another problem.

Valter continued, “She fell off the building in front of everyone at school. I was so embarrassed because of her.”

“Stop talking to your older sister like that.”

Olga warned her son without heat as usual and turned to Silje again. She seemed frustrated as she asked, “What happened? Silje, tell me now.”

Before Silje could say anything, Valter interrupted, “She did it again! I’m so sick of it. She always causes so many problems at school. She is known to be a total troublemaker. She is crazy! She is awful! She should’ve just kept quiet.”

“Stop it, Valter! Stop talking to your sister like that.”

“Dammit! Sister? If the kids know she is my sister, they are going to tease me. I am so tired of it. She is the source of all her problems! I don’t know why she keeps doing it! No one’s bullying her, yet she keeps running around claiming she is being teased.”

Valter stood up and ran to his room.

“I am ashamed to have her as my sister!”

He slammed his door shut.

Olga sighed deeply, worried that her son was entering the rebellious teenage stage. She looked older than usual.

“What happened? Silje, tell me.”

“It was nothing.”

Silje said it calmly because she didn’t want to worry her mother, but Olga wouldn’t let it go.

“You jumped off the school building? How can that be nothing? Silje, are you hurt? Shouldn’t we go to the hospital?”

“I’m fine.”

Silje tried to convince her, but Olga was adamant.

“Let’s go to the clinic tomorrow and get an x-ray. Are you dizzy at all? Perhaps you will need to get a CT scan done.”

When her adoptive mother showed concern, Silje just nodded. However, Olga quickly changed her attitude and asked, “By the way, you aren’t going to lie again and tell me that you jumped off the building because you were being bullied, right? You are overreacting, Silje. You are too sensitive. You heard Valter, right? Valter tells me that he is embarrassed by you because you keep lying to everyone that you are being bullied. No one is tormenting you.”

Silje wasn’t saying a word about it, but Olga continued to look at her with a disapproving expression. Olga was a devout Lutheran and was extremely conservative and strict.

She continued, “To be honest, I am tired of hearing your excuses. Valter feels the same way. Silje, you can’t still believe you are being bullied because you’re Asian. Remember what happened when you were younger? You said you didn’t like your black hair so you dyed it blonde.”

Silje thought to herself, ‘Yes, Mom. And I became a laughing stock at school.’

She remembered the incident like it was yesterday. She couldn’t take the other kids teasing her anymore, so one day she bought a hair dye and bleached her hair. When she went to school the next day, the kids were merciless. They made fun of her even more, especially because she didn’t do a good job of dying her hair. Silje ended up bursting into tears at the time.

Silje suddenly became sad. She no longer wanted to look like everyone else. She was never going to dye her hair again. The memory of the incident was seared in her mind and every time she was reminded of it, she became miserable. The worst thing was that this wasn’t the only horrible memory she had of her childhood.

Or was the worst thing the fact that this bullying was still going on?

Olga continued, “Silje, listen carefully. I don’t want to talk to your homeroom teacher about your problems again. Frank wouldn’t want it either. You know he is already very stressed because of his work, right?”

“Yes, I know.”

“Good. I’m glad you know. So we can’t keep going to your school because of your problems. Did you know even our neighbors are gossiping about us because of you? Remember how a few years ago you refused to attend school anymore? People thought and still think that we, as your parents, are doing something wrong.”

There was no point. It was useless to talk to her adoptive mother. It was like talking to a wall.

For a while now, Silje hasn’t been telling her parents about what was happening to her at school. She knew she was alone in this, and she has decided that she had to take care of this situation by herself. She remembered the days and nights when she contemplated and cried until she came to this decision.

But even though Silje knew her parents would not help her, she still couldn’t help but feel weak at Olga’s accusations. Every time this topic came up, her adoptive mother’s message was the same.

She wanted Silje to keep quiet and graduate just like the others.

As Olga continued to stare at her, Silje bit her lips and answered quietly, “I know what you are saying. I’m sorry and I won’t cause any more trouble.”

“Good. Thank you, Silje. Like I said before, we aren’t asking a lot from you. We just want you to graduate from high school and go to a university in Oslo. Ok?”

This was what her adoptive parents wanted.

To graduate from high school and go to a university in Oslo. They didn’t want to hear or know anything about her.

Silence fell.

Nothing was going to change even if Silje explained what had really happened. She had tried many times before and it never worked.

Moreover, Olga’s response was always the same.

“You are crazy, Silje. You are victimizing yourself for no good reason! Why would anyone bully you? Why? Because they have nothing else to do? You are telling me that it’s because you’re Asian? That doesn’t make sense. You make me laugh, Silje. I am tired of hearing your lies. I’m sick of it.”

Silje didn’t want to see her adoptive mother yell at her and cry because of her. If she wasn’t being bullied, there wouldn’t be anything that Silje and her adoptive parents would disagree on.

All they wanted was a good, obedient daughter.

A daughter who never caused trouble.

Silje was well aware of her situation. She smiled quietly and gave the answer her adoptive mother wanted to hear.

“Yes, Mom. I will do as you say.”

Silje’s heart became colder as it continued to freeze little by little. She was alone in this cold country that was not her birthplace.