Chapter 20  

After hastily running out of the apartment, I went to the closest convenience store and bought a lot of alcohol. Soju, beer, makuli. I wanted to include the expensive wine from before also but the convenience store didn’t have that sort of thing, and I couldn’t go anywhere farther just to buy wine because while I was gone, AhJung would still be crying alone. So, I bought whatever variety was available at the convenience store and ran back to the apartment.

As I reentered AhJung’s room, I found her still crying in the same position, lying on her bed and hugging a chair. I walked toward her and sat at the corner of the bed, placing my hand on her shoulder.

“I’ve brought more alcohol,” I said.

I tried to help her sit up gently, but at my words, AhJung shot up like she had been burned.

“Alcohol?” With her eyes swollen so much that she couldn’t even open them properly, AhJung turned her body toward me.

I first stuck a straw in the pack of soju and handed it to her as it looked to be the easiest to drink. Na AhJung grabbed it with both hands and put the straw in her mouth. She closed her eyes and took a long drink.

After it cleared her throat, AhJung’s lips broke into a huge smile. Her expression looked as if she had achieved her dearest wish, and it made me feel accomplished. The nervous and high alert she’d been in since she’d been suspicious of my nice behavior was no longer there. It would have been nice if she’d had this sort of response all day.

A bit disappointed, I watched AhJung. With her eyes still closed and sucking on the straw, she continued to smile happily.

How much can this girl drink? Once she had emptied the pack of soju, AhJung looked like she was on the verge of tears again.

“There’s...no more?” Her eyes again started to sparkle with tears.

I quickly grabbed a can of beer from the bag and gave it to AhJung.

“There’s more, there’s more,” I assured her.

Before I could even open the can for her, AhJung grabbed it out of my hand. With her mouth at its rim, she knocked her head back. There was no beer coming out, but she continued to drink. She sucked on the rim of the can and swallowed at nothing.

Is it okay for me to let her continue like this? She seems to be out of it... While I was contemplating, AhJung tipped the beer can over her head and shook it as if she had just finished the whole thing. When not a single drop of beer fell, she looked disappointed and started to whimper.

“There’s no more...”

Holding a full can of unopened beer and saying there’s no more. At least before she had been able to tell if there was alcohol or not, but now she was so drunk, she couldn’t even figure that out.

“You would think after drinking this much, she would fall asleep,” I mumbled to myself.

Na AhJung started to cry again. “Alcohol...alllllcooooohollllll...”

Seeing her sorrowful face made me feel uncomfortable again. It felt like my insides were crumpled like AhJung’s face.

“Ah, whatever,” I muttered and dumped the entire contents of the bag in front of her. “Here, it’s alcohol. There’s enough to drink until you die. Have it all.”

Seeing the mountain of alcohol laid out in front of her, AhJung’s tears stopped. Then she grabbed the alcohol and hugged it.

“Alcohol! It’s alcohol! Look at the alcohol!” She hugged the stack of alcohol like a mother embracing a newborn child. “I’m going to sleep with it in my arms.”

Announcing a statement that was music to my ears, she crawled onto the bed and laid down. With her eyes closed, she finally became quiet, hugging not the teddy bear I’d bought her but the stack of alcohol.

I watched AhJung’s face for a long time. It was smeared with tears, but she was smiling like she had everything in the world.

How can you have this expression for a stack of alcohol? Like this is something special. Thinking that this whole thing was ridiculous, I realized she had fallen asleep. I was relieved to realize that I too could finally go to sleep.

Contrary to my plans, however, my gaze would not separate from Na AhJung’s face. That face that had the slowly drying tears smeared all over it, its saltiness emanating toward my nostrils.

Dirty. It’s not like body fluid is some sort of mask pack. Her tear-filled face was drying thickly on her skin. How can you sleep with that face? Dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty. Unable to stand it any longer, I got up from the bed. I ran to the bathroom to grab the water tissue, foam cleanser, and a bucket of water.

***

Na AhJung

I woke up to the sound of knocking. As the fog of sleep cleared, the memories of last night came back to me like a hurricane.

“Ah!” I stifled the scream with my hand. Oh, what do I do! What do I do?!

I shook as I remembered the horrific things I had done in my drunken state.

“I know you’re awake.”

I froze as I heard Lee JiHan’s voice coming through the door.

“If you didn’t get alcohol poisoning, you better walk yourself out here.”

What if I did get alcohol poisoning? Then do I not have to go out? Should I pretend I’m sick? No, I should pretend I’m dead. Just die! Die! I pulled at my hair in regret. From outside, I heard the scariest words.

“Are you going to make me go in there and lift you out?”

“No!” I got up as if whipped.

If I can’t avoid it, then I have to meet it head-on before it gets worse. It’s better to take the blow sooner rather than later. I ran out of the room. I’d thought that the moment I opened the door, I would be cursed into oblivion, but when I opened the door, JiHan, unexpectedly, only said one thing.

“There’s soup on the table, so let’s go there.” He then turned and headed for the kitchen.

“Uh, okay.” Not asking for any explanation, I followed him to the table like a loyal soldier.

There really was soup waiting for us at the table.

“Wow...” I sat in a chair in awe, and JiHan sat opposite me.

I quickly got my act together, put my two hands together and pleaded for forgiveness.

“Oh, I’m so sorry about yesterday. I do some stupid things when I’m drunk. I cry and ask for more drinks...I’m sorry.”

JiHan glared at me as I made my apology. “Is that all you want to say to me?”

“What?”

“I’m sorry, is that all.”

“Of course. What more could I say...even with ten mouths I wouldn’t have anything to say,” I answered in a voice barely above a whisper, keeping my head down the whole time.

“How come you aren’t thanking me?” JiHan asked as if he was scolding me.

“What?”

“I took you to your bed and bought you more alcohol. Why aren’t you thanking me?”

“Did you?” My eyes widened, I didn’t remember any of that.

JiHan glared at me. “You don’t remember?”

“I...I remember crying...but after that...” I trailed off.

“How could you not remember that?!” JiHan slammed his palm against the table. “Look here, do you know how good I was to you! How does it make sense that you don’t know that, huh?!”

I froze, unable to speak, and listened.

“I laid you on your bed and found alcohol and bought it for you. Me! I even washed your dirty face for you.”

“You washed my face?”

“You think that’s all? I even put toner, eye cream, essence, moisturizer, and vitamin cream for you step by step. Me, me!” He pointed at himself and emphasized the ‘me’ part.

“Really? Why?” I asked, extremely surprised.

JiHan replied with a disappointed look. “I obviously didn’t do it so I wouldn’t even get one ounce of thanks.”

“Oh, then, thanks. I didn’t know you would be so kind to me...”

I felt a bit disoriented, and I touched my face with my hands. I felt the unusually smooth and supple skin. It was definitely not the skin of someone that fell asleep without washing her face. If that is the case, what Lee JiHan is saying is true...but why? Why would he be nice to me? Like yesterday. No, even more so than yesterday. His kindness gave me goosebumps.

“Is that the face of someone who is thankful? You have the look of someone scared and suspicious.” JiHan frowned as he said this.

I tried to smile in response. “No, of course not. I’m just so grateful, that’s why my expression is like this.”

“When you were drunk yesterday, your expression wasn’t like that.

“That’s because I was drunk. I’m not like that normally.”

“Then keep acting like you normally don’t, like you’re drunk.”

“How did I act when I was drunk?”

“If I was nice to you, you laughed.”

“Oh, did I?”

I put in more of an effort to raise the corners of my mouth, but Lee JiHan shook his head in scorn.

“It wasn’t a forced smile like that.”

This time I smiled as big as I could so that my eyes were practically closed. JiHan sighed heavily at this.

“Forget it. It must be my greed to want this. I’ve only been nice to you for a week. I can’t expect you to lower your guard and like me.”

At his defeated voice, my smile dropped off of my face in confusion. JiHan looked into my eyes.

“I guess, if I continue to be good to you, then I will see that expression again. When you’re not drunk,” he said.

It sounds like he is going to be even nicer to me than he was yesterday! Not knowing the reason, I scratched my head, trying to bring back my memories. How was my expression when I was drunk? Why is he wanting to see that expression even if he has to be nice to me?

JiHan lifted his spoon and changed the subject. “Eat it before it gets cold.”

“Oh, okay!” Still used to abiding strictly by his rules, I answered swiftly and lifted the spoon.

I then swallowed a spoonful of soup. Unable to control it, I closed my eyes in satisfaction. I opened my eyes to say all the wonderful things that had just popped into my head when I saw JiHan’s face smiling at me. I could have never imagined it, but it was a kind and soft smile.

Seeing that face made my mind draw a blank, and all the comments I had wanted to say disappeared. JiHan’s gaze slowly made its way to his bowl, and he started to eat.

“What are you going to do today?” he asked as if this was perfectly normal.

I hurriedly snapped out of my trance. “To...today? Today I have to go house hunting,” I answered.

He shook his head as if to say that was the wrong answer. “You should not be looking for houses. We need to go see a fortune teller.”

“What?”

“I’ll have the assistant bring over a list of places in a little while, so we can go tell our fortune!”

“Why do you want to see a fortune teller all of a sudden?”

“We have to see your compatibility with my brother, to see if you should really go through with this marriage,” JiHan said matter-of-factly.

“I don’t believe in that kind of thing.”

“Do you think our ancestors checked these things for no reason? Even kings made decisions after confirming their compatibility. Are you saying you are above kings? Are you looking down on King SeJong?” JiHan said scornfully.

I can’t believe you’re bringing up an ancient king for this...

I realized that I had no way to beat his persuasiveness even if I had ten mouths, so I nodded my head in defeat.

“No. Of course not. Now that I think about it, checking one’s compatibility is a pivotal requirement. Let’s go check it out.” I showed him my fists of determination and nodded in agreement.