Bai Qingyue and Ye Mingyu's names continued to occupy the headlines for the next few weeks. While the queen wasn't affected by the allegation thrown at her, it left Ye Mingyu on the edge as she remained silent throughout the ordeal. It took some time for Han Yize to be able to take down the articles and news about them, and Ye Mingyu noticed the sudden change in his ever since that night he'd suddenly left her on her own.
Something must have happened. If it was about his work, then she had nothing to worry about, but there was something about the way he acted that made Ye Mingyu suspicious. Han Yize still met and saw her at night, but he wouldn't spend the night with her. He looked frustrated about something, but he wouldn't tell her what it was.
While Ye Mingyu was struggling to keep Han Yize on her side, Su Xiaofei had just passed out and woke up in the hospital owned by the Han family for the second time.
"What happened?" She asked Shi Mingli.
"You passed out again. You were burning with high fever when Zhang Lan brought you here." The woman replied. "I've already called your husband. Lu Qingfeng said he's on his way now."
"Su Xiaofei, you will need to deliver the twins now." Han Zijun said in frustration.He and Shi Mingli had managed to complete the antidote they were working on, but it seemed that Su Xiaofei's body couldn't keep up with her pregnancy while trying to keep the poison at bay. Zhang Lan had barged into his office that morning, insisting that he check on her madam immediately.
"No. No." She shook her head. "I still have a week to carry them, right? The more weeks we could give the girls, the more chances they could survive well at birth."
"No, Miss Su. It has to be now. It's now or we can't help you." The doctor's voice was almost pleading in Su Xiaofei's ears. She had never seen Han Zijun this desperate.
"But you are Han Zijun. You can pull miracles. You are one of the best doctors in our country. Surely you can do something about it." Su Xiaofei insisted.
"This won't work for me, Miss Su. Another week and you might die. Your body is starting to shut down already. In another week, we won't be able to help you or save your twins anymore, but if you deliver them now, I'll promise to do my best to save all three of you."
Su Xiaofei said nothing and stared blankly at the ceiling, tears streaming down her face.
"Let me be completely honest with you. There's a chance that one of your twins might not be able to make it. Unlike the other one, she's smaller and weaker."
Su Xiaofei swallowed hard upon hearing Han Zijun say that. She didn't know if she would be able to get over another child loss. The grief almost killed her in her previous life, since a part of her was lost along with her child.magic
Shi Mingli held Han Zijun's arm and shook her head.
"Let me talk to her about it."
The doctor hesitated for a moment and nodded. He gave Su Xiaofei one last look before leaving her with Shi Mingli.
The older woman took a seat next to Su Xiaofei's bed, the latter refusing to look at her.
"Sister Shi, do you also think that I'm selfish and being illogical for not terminating this pregnancy?" Su Xiaofei asked without looking at Shi Mingli. The older woman became an older sister she never had and she was able to confide in Shi Mingli easily.
"No. Of course not, Xiaofei. It's easy for someone to say that they would rather choose you to live over the child and tell you that you can have more children in the future, but what do they know?" Shi Mingli answered, taking Su Xiaofei's hand in hers.
"Actually, delaying having a child was just an excuse Mingzhe and I used. We had trouble conceiving a child over the years and I suffered four miscarriages. You can imagine how heartbroken we were back then. I almost didn't want to see a positive pregnancy test again in fear that it would end in another loss."
Su Xiaofei remained silent and continued to weep. She knew that by being selfish and keeping her pregnancy, she was hurting Lu Qingfeng all over again.
"To be told that you should terminate this pregnancy as you would have higher chances of getting pregnant in the future sounds insensitive to me, whether you have a child before or not. Sure, others might think that you are being stupid right now, but do they know the feeling of being empty? It's something I would never wish for someone to experience."
"The loss of a child may be the worst trauma a human being can experience. When a woman loses a child, she would be filled with intense anger and feelings of bitterness and unfairness at a life left unfulfilled. Fear or dread of being alone and overprotecting your surviving children may haunt her. She could resent parents with healthy children. She could feel that life has no meaning and would wish to be released from the pain or to join her child."
Su Xiaofei was familiar with such feelings. How many times did she wish she was dead after Mo Yuchen forcibly aborted their child from her womb? How many times did she look away when she saw a woman holding their baby in her arms while she held nothing?
"It's not your fault, Xiaofei. I'm sure Lu Qingfeng understands you now. However, you have to promise that you will come back to us alive. We will do whatever it takes to save the girls, but you have to fight for your life, because if you die, your girls will not only lose their mom, but also their dad." Shi Mingli reminded her.