After that strange conversation with Yera, I wandered back around to the front of the building with my mind achurn. Everything she’d said about freedom for D-block, about overthrowing Admin - my gut reaction to even considering it was laughter - bore thinking about, but now wasn’t the time. I was tired, aching, coming down from an adrenaline high, and still processing the fact that people were dead because of me. People I didn’t want dead, I mean.

I found Pengyi, who upon seeing the look on my face took my hand but said nothing. I squeezed his back and went over to Marie, who was standing by a pile of loot her men had torn out of the Killers’ warehouse.

“‘Sup, Marie,” I said. “What is all this stuff?”

“Used to be their stuff,” she replied, tapping a cellophane-wrapped cake of brownish powder with her toe. “We killed ‘em, so now it’s ours. Nothin’ much impressive, but waste not, want not. That’s what my ma would say while she boiled cat bones to make broth. Funny how I can still remember the smell.” She glanced at Pengyi, eyes catching on his ears. “Uh, no offense meant there, Morranne. I always get a little scatter-brained after an op.”

“No offense,” he echoed. “I have eat cats too.”

“Oh.” She shrugged. “There you go. You move good, you know that? You ever get sick of doing whatever you do, look me up and I’ll find you a spot on my crew.”

“T-thank you? Will keep in mind.”

“Sure thing. So what’s up, Sharkie?”

It was an effort not to roll my eyes. Way too much was up. For now, though, what I needed was to go to bed. “Honestly? I’m fuckin’ beat, Marie. Unless you need me to move something heavy, I’m gonna call for a car and get home.”

Marie chuckled. “You been up what, twenty hours? That’s nothin’. But seriously, go ahead and get out of here. You’re young and you need your beauty sleep. You too, Morranne.” She winked at us both and Pengyi took a step back, probably unsure what she meant. Marie just laughed again and told us to have a good morning.

I rang Walker’s office, and after assuring Ms. Sanverth that we were okay she agreed to send us a ride. Sighing, I hung up my slab and slumped against the warehouse wall. Pengyi joined me, motionless but for his eyes scanning back and forth across the dark street before us.

“Thanks again for your help, Pengyi.” I said it quietly, turning a little to watch him.

“Is no problem. Friends should help each other, Sharkie. Is how it should be.” He brushed a stray lock of hair out of his face and watched me. “We are friends, I think. More than friends.”

“Of course.”

“So of course I will help you. Simple.” He shrugged, as though it was the easiest thing in the world to wake up in the middle of the night and fight in a gun battle with me.

Overcome, I pulled him into a hug. “Thanks anyway,” I muttered into his ear. He squeezed me back before we pulled apart.

“So…tomorrow. I’m probably going to sleep half the day at least, but after that…you want to give this date another try? At your place, this time?”

His ears flattened, and he seemed caught between excitement and nervousness. “I do. Yes. But...are you sure, Sharkie? I know my home - Park, I mean - it is not nicest place.”

I was nervous myself, but I nodded. “Yeah, I’m sure. I want to see it how you see it.”

“Okay!” That pretty smile lit up his whole face. Kings, he’s hot. “Tomorrow. Four o’clock? Is that good?”

“Yeah, that’ll be fine. I should be up by then.”

“Nice, magne shan! I already have ideas for where to go.”

Just then our car pulled up, one of those plastic fantastics that drove themselves. I got in the driver’s seat and fumbled around in the interface long enough to turn off the autopilot. Even if I lived someplace where the roads made sense these things would creep me out, and in D-block I didn’t trust it not to take us through a dark zone or into a sinkhole. Pengyi hopped in beside me and off we went. I dropped him off in Parkside, and before getting out he leaned over the center console and kissed me. I had to make myself pull away after a few moments before we got caught up in something more.

He was still a little flushed as he got out of the car. “See you tomorrow, Sharkie.”

“Yeah. For real, this time. No surprises.” I nodded firmly as though I could force it to be true.

“No surprises.” Pengyi smiled again and left me there, waving as he disappeared into the treeline.

I allowed myself a little smile of my own. As tired as I was, as apprehensive as I still was about the park, I was looking forward to tomorrow. After taking the car back to Walker’s office and stumbling off before anyone could engage me in conversation, I headed back to my apartment and was asleep the moment I hit the bed.

—

“You sleep well?” I asked Pengyi as I met him at our usual spot at the edge of the Park.

“Like very tired rock.” He yawned as if in proof. I couldn’t help but notice his canines were a little longer than normal, like fangs. Cute. “You?”

“About the same. It was the kind of sleep where you end up all tangled up in the covers and there’s marks on your skin when you wake up.”

“Know just what you mean,” he laughed. “You on time, at least.”

“Barely. I didn’t have time for breakfast.” I thought about it. “Or lunch, or early dinner, or whatever the hell you call your first meal after getting up at three-thirty in the afternoon.”

He smiled wider. “Good! You will be hungry when I cook you dinner, then!”

Now that got me excited. “Wait, you can cook?”

“No, I just have big freezer full of Lonely Man meals, and I use microwave every day.”

I raised an eyebrow, mock-frowning at him. “Pengyi, was that sarcasm?”

He winked. “I fast learner. Now come on! Have something to show you.”

“Sure, sure, lead the way.” Though a little bemused, I was glad to see him excited. With a red-lensed flashlight in hand he led me into the mutant trees, stepping nimbly over trunks that meandered up and down and side to side without regard for logic. I followed him as best I could, grimacing as leaves brushed across my face. At least I didn’t hit my head as much as I did the first time. He stopped a few times to let me catch up and I was glad of it; he wore his usual camo getup except for the mask, and even when he wasn’t trying to hide it was hard to see him. I kept my revolver drawn, remembering the derelicts we’d run into last time, but none showed up.

“This way now,” Pengyi muttered. “Many bad plants over there.” He pointed them out to me as we passed. The ring-bushes and gold snappers I recognized from my first time here. The ring-bushes weren’t dangerous as long as you didn’t touch their membranes, but even brushing against the long fronds of the snappers was enough to lose you a patch of skin. There were a few I hadn’t seen before as well: pitcher plants that made a weird hooting sound as they opened and closed their mouths - “calling for prey,” Pengyi said - and a vine covered in what looked like shiny glass beads. “Sap is sticky acid,” he explained. “Very uncomfortable.” He gave the widest berth to a weird squat tree whose crown of fluffy leaves spread out in a flat disc. “Each of those hairs is seed,” whispered Pengyi as he chivvied me away. “Stick in your skin, maybe you don’t even notice. But then it grow roots in your arm, then your whole body. You get skinny, hungry all the time. Then you fall over and new tree grow out of your corpse.”

“Why do you live here again?” I muttered.

An odd look crossed his face. “Is better than where I came from, in some ways.” I didn’t know what to say to that and we kept moving. Soon we got to the broad, grassy clearing where I’d first met him. He stopped at the grass’s edge and said “Wait. Look at this.” He switched off his red light and I did the same. We weren’t left in the dark, though. The grass swayed a little even without a breeze, shin-high and glowing a faint blue. It was humid enough that mist rose from it, catching and spreading the light. In the middle of the clearing a tall tree grew, chunks of the old park office clenched in its branches. The veins of its jagged leaves pulsed a deep orange-red, like hot metal just starting to glow. It was…

“Beautiful,” I muttered to myself.

Pengyi must have heard, for he leaned against me. “Is dangerous place, but not all bad all the time.” He led the way through the grass, which dimmed briefly as we brushed by. We left the clearing in a different direction than when we’d gone to the ancient church. There were plenty of creepers and vines in our way, many of them the type that coiled and clenched their leaves when touched. I really hated feeling them move against my skin.

Pengyi made fine progress chopping though them with his machete, but after a moment to admire his technique I passed up my glittersaw. “Give that a shot.”

He grinned. “Gladly.” The diamond-toothed blade whickered through vines and stalks like they weren’t there, leaving a scent of burnt sap hanging in the air. “Louder than machete, but-“ He slashed through an arm-thick tree-trunk without the blade slowing down. “Machete can’t do that. Maybe I try and trade for this thing, Sharkie.”

Now there was a thought. I’d seen he was deadly enough with a dead blade in his hands. With a saw like mine he’d be a terror. “Would you be able to get one from the people you usually trade with?” I asked.

“Probably. Some clans use these, I know, even if there less trees in other dark zones. Park is only place you would use so much, and I think I am only one living in here for permanent. Careful, here.” He pointed out one of the mushrooms that if I remembered correctly was full of nerve gas. I inched around it as delicately as I could.

“So, you do a lot of trading? With people from D-block, or only tornagena?” I was curious. Nobody in D-block thought of the dark-living burnouts as much more than bums or crazy people, but after meeting Northmarch and Pengyi I realized that they had a whole hidden society and economy. They were the underclass of the underclass.

“Tornagena almost always,” he whispered back. “Not many from light know where we meet. But I try to trade little as possible, speaking truth. Only need for things like ammo or medicine, things cannot find or make here. Scrapes is far away, must sneak though city to reach. Chasm I have been to only once, and no one there much of time. Someone is, is not someone good to meet. Six Lords Town closest, but…I avoid when I can.”

Something in the tone of his voice told me not to ask why. “So where are you taking me anyway?”

“You see. We almost there.” He wasn’t lying. A minute or two more of squeezing past trees and we came to another, smaller open space.

“Surprise!” Pengyi swept a proud hand across the site before us. It was a pond of clear water, fed by a burbling creek. Knee-like tree roots and huge flowering lily-pads crowded the edge. Their blooms were slightly fluorescent, glowing in bright magenta, searing orange, shocking white. The center was clear, though, barely stirred by the creek’s current. Sap-beaded vines strung back and forth above the pond, glowing and twinkling slightly like the segments of a crystal chandelier.

“It’s…wow, Pengyi, it’s incredible,” I said, taking it in.

“Yes, but doesn’t just look good. You can swim in it!”

I was taken aback. “W-wait, seriously?”

He nodded excitedly. “Plants take poison out of water. See how clear it is?”

I gave him a skeptical frown. “You’re sure there’s not… I don’t know, tentacles or something that’ll drown me and suck out my brains?”

He frowned right back. “No. Why you think something like that?”

“I mean- just-“ I spluttered, waving around at the forest in general. “Look at all the weird shit that’s-“ I cut off when he grinned at me. “Okay, okay, good one. But you have to admit it’s a reasonable question.”

“Yes, is. But I swim here many times. Yesterday, even. Nothing in there, nothing bad at least. Oh! Reminds me. Stay quiet and watch.”

I did as he asked, following as he inched up to the edge of the pool. He took off one of his gloves and crouched there, staring intently into the water. For maybe thirty seconds he was stock-still, one hand poised just above the surface. Then he reached into the water so quick I hardly saw him move, pulling out a big eyeless catfish like the kind sometimes tank-farmed in D-block.

“Holy shit!” I whispered. In this case the whole ‘cat-like reflexes’ thing was literally true.

“First try,” Pengyi replied, pleased with himself. He switched his flashlight to white and stuck it between some roots, then drew a small knife from his belt and killed the fish with a quick thrust just above the eye. I watched as he cleaned and gutted it, slitting it down the bottom and tossing the innards he pulled out into a thorny bush. I winced as its branches twitched, carrying the mess deeper into the plant. Pengyi filleted the fish’s meat from the bone, stuck it into a collapsible bag he’d brought, and threw the bones and head into the same bush.

“Dinner,” he said proudly. “Fresh as it gets. But first we swim.”

I shifted nervously. “Sure thing, man. Except…I don’t know how. Never done it before.”

“Oh. Oh!” His eyes widened. “Um, can watch me some, and then I help you. Is mostly shallow enough to stand anyway. Or, if you don’t want to, we can-“

“No, no! It’s fine, I want to learn. I’m pretty excited, honestly.”

“I’m glad! Now, watch. Is not hard.” Without ceremony he stripped down to his skivvies and jumped in, setting the lily-pads to swaying back and forth. When he emerged the water was only up to his waist. “See? Not too deep over here.”

“Right…” I had to admit that the depth of the water wasn’t what I was focused on at the moment. It was the first time I’d seen him without a shirt on. Water ran in rivulets down his cut chest and flat stomach, beaded on his sinewy shoulders. He had the build of an acrobat rather than a bruiser. His hair was longer than I’d thought too, its wet auburn locks almost reaching his shoulders. Except for the thin scar across his neck and another set that looked like clawmarks low on his left side, his skin was pale and flawless. In short, I was a very lucky woman.

I must have been staring like an idiot because he smiled at me, face going a little red. “Don’t get distracted. Watch what I do.” He paddled back and forth across the pond, moving slowly on purpose. It looked just like it did in movies, I guessed. Not that hard.

“Alright, I’ll give it a shot. Look out below.” I undressed too, glad I was wearing athletic underwear that dried off easily.

“Is easier if you jump,” Pengyi called. “Roots on edge are slippy.”

“If you say so.” I gave the water one last apprehensive look and leapt in, sending the lily pads sloshing to the edge. My feet touched bottom almost immediately. The feeling of roots and silt beneath my toes was weird, but even stranger was the feeling of the water pushing on me, buoying me up.

“Whoa…this is cool, man!” I sat back, half-floating, then turned over and tried swimming over to Pengyi. It was splashy and clumsy, but felt pretty intuitive. I stood when I got to him and swiped hair out of my face. “Not too shabby, right?”

“N-no. Was great.” He sounded weird, and I realized he was eying up just like I’d done to him. I flashed him a grin and stretched, hands together above my head. “Fair’s fair, huh?”

“Inver’yw shan…” he whispered. “You are like statue…”

I glanced down suddenly. “Uh, statue?”

He protested, face screwed up and flushed. “No! I mean, um…” His ears flattened in embarrassment, which I’d never not find cute. “One time, Northmarch show me old book, with pictures of even older art. From Age of Sun. And there are these statues of stone, of…famous men, heroes. Made tall, strong…” He glanced up to meet my eyes. “Bodies perfect.”

“So I look like a statue of a dude?” I raised an eyebrow, trying to keep a straight face.

“No, no no!” he exclaimed, looking desperate. “Like statue of woman! Beautiful woman.”

“I-I know what you meant, I’m just kidding.” I scratched the back of my neck, feeling kind of bad for messing with him now. Here was someone who actually found me attractive, instead of just thinking I could choke them with my legs or something. I’d gotten some really weird catcalls in the past. “It’s, um…it’s gotta be one of the nicest things someone’s said to me.”

He stepped closer. “Meant it, Sharkie.” I couldn’t help it. I hugged him close and bent down for a kiss, my hands sliding over wet skin. He leaned into it, his body molding against mine. Fingertips trailed electric down my side, rested lightly on my hip.

It took an effort of will to pull away. “We…we don’t want to miss dinner, do we?” I managed.

“R-right. Yes.”

He peeled away, and I couldn’t resist a glance downward. “Kings damn, Pengyi.”

He jumped and turned around, speaking primly over his shoulder. “Water is cold! Now go swim instead of embarrassing me!”

“I meant it the other way, but sure.” I dove forward past him and paddled across to the other edge, then back again. I still had all the finesse of a cat tossed into a gutter, but I was getting the hang of it- and the sheer novelty of floating around was fun too.

“You come here a lot? How long have you known about this place?” I asked after a few minutes.

Pengyi had relaxed, floating languidly on his back. “Very often, yes. Found it almost since I come to Park. Looked for clean water, heard sound of little river, followed here. Tested water and is good to drink, even. Plants suck poison out of it, sap from vines drips in and kills parasites. No bugs or glassworms or little fish that lay eggs in your bladder.”

I spluttered as I slipped on an underwater root. “Th-those exist?”

He shrugged lazily, still looking up. “In some places.” After a moment he turned to look at me and winked.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I protested, splashing at him.

He jerked out of the way and floated over to perch on a root. “What you do then, Sharkie? When you are not working?”

“I work out a lot. I’ll go visit my dad, or see a few other friends. Listen to lots of music, too. And read.”

“Oh? What you read?” he asked, whispery voice carrying well across the water.

I sat on a rock across from him. “Fantasy adventures. They’re all kind of the same, I guess - but I still like them,” I added defensively. “Once I even tried writing my own.”

He leaned forward, ears perking straight up. “Really? Can I read it? Know your alphabet almost perfect now.”

“It’s not anything you want to read,” I muttered, feeling a blush coming on. Why had I even brought it up? “I was sixteen and you can really tell.”

“Is alright. I am sure is not all bad!”

“No, it really is! I don’t think I have it anymore anyway.” In actuality I knew it was in the bottom of my old clothes locker, a sheaf of scrawled plastic looseleaf stuffed into an old binder of Sawada’s, but I swore I’d melt it down as soon as I got home. I’d thought at the time that writing by hand would make my work more ‘authentic’ than something typed. I was definitely blushing now.

“Too bad,” Pengyi murmured. Kings, he actually sounded like he meant it. “Can at least tell me what it was about? If you remember?”

I nearly told him I didn’t, but I supposed I owed him something. “A noble girl, the daughter of a duchess or something,” I began with a sigh. “Her evil aunt poisons her mother and puts her father in jail. She has to go far away to escape, and then she adventures around recruiting people to help her put things right. I never got close to finishing it.” I left out the part where she looked a lot like me, and where everyone she recruited was uniformly attractive, and that those ‘recruitments’ went in exactly the direction you’d expect a lonely sixteen-year-old’s mind to take them. In truth it had been exactly the sort of racy reverse-harem trash I read a lot of now, just executed far more poorly.

“It sound nice to me,” said Pengyi with a smile on his face. “We have stories like this too. Revenge of Red Kinrey, Son of Great Knife, others. Maybe you write again one day!”

“M-maybe.” I tried to change the subject. “So the tornagena make books too?”

He nodded. “Find old ones, sometimes, but also make them. Mostly of history. History is very important. But also of- I think word is fiction. Scavenge plastic paper, or make out of leaves. Are also people called, hmm, ‘bookshelf that walks’ in your words. Part of no clan, but no one hurt them. They carry books around, keep them safe.”

“How’s that work? They can’t carry that many, can they?” I asked.

“Have place where they keep most of them,” he said with a shrug. “Don’t know where.”

“Huh.” I swam around for a little while longer, eventually roping Pengyi into a few races. He won handily, but I was starting to catch up after a few tries. Soon my stomach set to rumbling, though, and we decided to call it and head to his home. We dried off with some kind of weird active-fiber towel he’d brought - it shrunk down to matchbook size when not being used - then got dressed and set out.

The trip was uneventful but for a brief encounter with some of the local wildlife. We were creeping through a stand of black bushes that grew into weird urn-shapes when Pengyi flicked off his light and stopped. When I came up behind him in the momentary pitch-black, he put his light on the lowest setting and pointed. Through the foliage I glimpsed a low, four-legged silhouette, walking along with a weird high-stepping gait.

“Look.” His light illuminated a…thing, I guess, a grotesque creature I had no name for. Its body was maybe fifteen feet long, cigar-shaped with a long tail at one end and a blunt, toothy snout at the other. It was covered in green-black scales, and its bandy little legs seemed to have been added as an afterthought. It ambled along as calm as could be, looking supremely unhurried as it placed each foot with delicacy. One of its beady eyes looked us over without concern.

I only looked away once it had gone far past us. “What in the hell is that thing, Pengyi?”

“Alligator,” he said, looking at me like I ought to have known that. “You never see before?”

“Hell no. It looks like it should be crushing buildings in a movie.”

“Won’t bother you if you don’t bother them. Most of time.”

I shuddered. “I’ll stay away anyway.”

Soon after we passed into an area where the trees were much thicker and taller than I’d seen in the rest of the Park. Their trunks still deviated and crisscrossed, but far above our heads like the rafters of a tall building. Long strands of bark peeled and hung off them like scraps of rag. Below them was a field of waist-high shrubs with broad, jagged-edged leaves. Their veins pulsed faint colors, mostly dull red and purple. It was beautiful in a disorienting way, like something shouldn’t have been able to exist in real life.

“Where are we now, man?” I whispered.

“Deep in Park. Close to home.” He stopped and nodded at the leafy plants. “Watch these close. Purple okay to touch, red poisonous.” He led the way, meandering through the underbrush so as to keep us mostly near the purple plants.

“How about the green ones?” I asked, spotting one whose luminescence was almost invisible.

“Smell,” he whispered with a grin.

I leaned close and immediately recoiled. “King’s bones, that’s rank!” It was like rotten meat blended with mold and burnt rubber. “Why’d you let me do that?”

“Good way to learn, right?” I shook my head as he snickered. A few minutes later he looked around, spotted something and immediately turned a hard right.

I followed him, a little confused. “What was that for?”

“Over there.” I followed his pointing finger to a plant that burned with eerie blue radiance. “Blue ones pull metals from ground. Strontium, cobalt, technetium, kaisium-no, caesium. Very much radiation, must stay far away.”

“Got it.” I hurried along. Radiation was maybe the least obvious environmental hazard in D-block, at least compared to acid rain or glass storms or air pollution, but it was on everyone’s minds. It blew in from the Glasslands that surrounded Savlop-2 and settled where it would. Everyone knew someone who had moved to a new place and started feeling weak, throwing up, or Kings forbid gotten the purple spots people called dosi badges. Dad always did a brisk business in home geiger counters.

The field of shrubs was huge. It had the feel of a great cathedral nave or warehouse, one of those cavernous spaces that almost gives you vertigo when you look up. Insects flitted back and forth half-seen, some reaching rather disturbing sizes. Even the big ones weren’t safe from the prehensile hanging moss that garlanded the tree limbs high above. Tendrils of it reached every which way, questing for pray and coiling rapidly in when they found it.

A few minutes longer and Pengyi stopped. “There. Home.” He pointed up at a structure that hulked half-seen in the darkness. It looked to be four huge trees that grew in a helix pattern, making a tower like a doubled strand of DNA. Higher up something filled the spaces between their trunks, though I wasn’t sure if it was walls or some grown membrane. Most unusual, though, was how regular the tower’s shape was. It looked cultivated, even purposeful compared to the chaos of the mutant trees everywhere else.

“That- there’s a house up there?”

“Northmarch says was place for rent once, so people can stay in park. Grown on purpose, before plants go wrong. What he call it…Cabin. Yes. See there?” He pointed up maybe twelve feet off the ground. “Two floors. Come on and I show you!”

At the base of the trees he motioned for me to stay back and reached into his jacket. “Once were stairs, but I tear them out. Now…” A moment later a rope laddler tumbled from above. “Have manual backup, but remote is easiest,” he explained as he climbed. “You too. Will hold us both.”

“If you say so.” I joined him, doing my best not to jostle things around too much. At the top we climbed through an opening in what I assumed was the floor, emerging into a dark space.

“One second…Here! Welcome to my home.”

A set of shrouded LEDs on the ceiling came on, warmly illuminating the room. They were dimmed, but after the near-blackness of the trees seemed bright indeed. Pengyi immediately reeled the ladder back in as I looked around.

“Damn, Pengyi, I wasn’t expecting anything like this!” It was a cozy place, circular in shape. The floor, walls and ceiling were all grown out of wood, flat except where the spiraling tree-trunks intersected them. I saw a kitchen, a sort of living room area, even some machinery.

A smile crossed his pretty face, sly as a Hsieh Street monte dealer’s. “Oh? What do you expect, then?”

“I mean, I dunno…” I shrugged, embarrassed. “A cave, I guess. Maybe a tent, or a shack? But, hell, I lived somewhere shittier than this for years!”

His laugh was as quiet as usual, but I could tell he found that hilarious. “Is not so stupid to think that, but…nishishi! Still. I covered with sap, so let me change, and then I show you my shack.”

“Y-yeah. Go for it.”

He shot up a ladder to the second floor, emerging a minute later in shorts and a tank top - both army green. His auburn hair was unbound, just brushing his shoulders. I watched the muscles of his arms shift as he climbed down.

“Um, I not have visitors before, to be honest. Is not much to see.” He actually looked worried that I’d be disappointed, and I felt bad.

“Look, Pengyi, it’s all new to me, and I think the place is cool already. And, y’know…I’m here with you, so I’m gonna be happy regardless.”

He flushed, but showed me a smile. “Is-is same for me, Sharkie. Thank you. So! Up ladder is my room. Kitchen is over here. Had to chip oven out of wall where it grew too far, but it still works. Batteries there. The tree charges them, actually, was grown that way…” He went on to show me around the place. Maybe a third of it was dedicated to a small kitchen area complete with sink, stove, fridge, and oven. Another section contained a heap of batteries and a little bathroom cubicle, and the rest was a living room area with a patchwork couch. Right next to the entrance hatch was the ladder that led upstairs. All over I noticed chisel and cut marks on the wood, where excess growth had been carved away and covered with varnish. Even this carefully-engineered tree building wasn’t immune to the Park’s mutations.

When he was done he took the fish filets out of his pack and into the kitchen. “Can sit down while I cook, if you want.”

“Right.” I went over to the living room, but I didn’t hit the couch. Instead I listened to him clink and clatter around while I looked at the stuff he had hanging on the walls. He’d set his shotgun in a gun rack, where it joined a pump-action backup, a scoped rifle, and a few pistols. Next to that was a collection of objects I assumed he’d found during his explorations. Most interesting was a framed plastic-paper brochure that must have come from the Park’s opening, before the plants went wild. It showed smiling people, far too clean-cut and milquetoast to be real D-blockers, walking along well-lit paths between hedges and rows of manicured trees. I quietly scoffed. The corps behind the Park had gotten a lot more than they bargained for, there. Resting on nails beside it were a variety of rusty objects, many looking like ancient guns or other weapons. There was even a section of tree-trunk that had grown almost completely around a ceramic combat knife, as well as a ragged section of cloth with some old-looking runes embroidered on it. Maybe Sawada would know what it says, I thought.

It wasn’t long before a mouth-watering smell filled the little house, accompanied by the sizzling of oil. All of a sudden I remembered I hadn’t eaten a good meal in about twenty-four hours, and before I knew it I was in the kitchen lurking behind Pengyi like an evil spirit. I tried looking over his head but he shooed me away. “I almost done! Will screw up if you watch.”

“Performance anxiety?”

“I say already, not get many guests here.” His voice turned thoughtful. “Since I meet you, I think…I think I say more words in last few weeks than last few years.”

I leaned against the wall, considering that. Even before I’d met my recent friends, I’d always had the people at Dag’s to chit-chat with. Not much, but still human interaction. And if that wasn’t enough my dad was always happy to see me. Pengyi, though…he’d probably gone weeks without even seeing another person. I couldn’t imagine.

“Is that a good thing?” I asked, a little nervous.

He didn’t turn, still focused on the pan, but I heard the smile in his voice. “At first I not sure, but now? Yes. Big yes.”

I shifted, awkward and unsure how to respond. “Um…I’m glad,” I finally said lamely.

“Me too. And…Okay! Done. Need plates…” He got everything arranged, then folded a little table out from the wall, complete with benches. I sat down gingerly, but it held my weight. The plate he set in front of me looked like it was actually a ceramic floor tile, which ironically made it seem like it was from a fancy restaurant. He put his own down, along with a couple tin cups of water, and joined me.

“Pan fried catfish steak, garlic and lemon pepper rub, brown rice with, what is word, um…Scallions! Kind of like onion.” He sounded proud of himself, and as far as I thought he deserved it. I almost didn’t process what he said I was staring at the food so hard.

“It looks…it looks great, Pengyi…”

The man actually had the nerve to laugh at me. “It not going anywhere, Sharkie! Let’s eat.”

Didn’t need to tell me twice. I dug in only to find it tasted better than it smelled. I’d never had fish like this before. It didn’t have that textureless, dishwater taste of the tank-farmed fish I was used to. The meat was hot and flaky, the taste subtle yet clean. I was very glad he’d snagged such a big fish. And whatever spices he’d thrown down hit hard. Any hotter and my eyes would be watering, but that was how I liked it.

“Kings in their tombs, Morranne! What’ll it take for you to make this every night?”

He glanced sideways, embarrassed. “Is nothing special…”

“It is to me, man.” I sat back, plate clean. “Kings damn.”

“I happy you like it. W-was enough food for you?” He was barely halfway through his.

“Yeah, yeah! I didn’t mean to, um, pig out like that. Just, it’s been a day or so since I had a real meal, and it was so good…”

“Is no problem, really!” He gave me one of those shy smiles that had endeared him to me in the first place. “I very happy you like it.”

“I really do, man. Thanks.” I sipped water to cool off my tongue while he finished. He was a very fastidious eater, cutting small pieces off his fish with precise movements of knife and fork.

Soon enough he finished too. “Mm. Did turn out very good, I think. That pool have best fish. No mud. Other places, they eat dirt and taste funny.”

“Huh.” I hadn’t known that - my knowledge of fish pretty much began and ended with the frozen kind you cooked in a microwave. “It’s good you know that Park so well. I mean, obviously so you can stay alive in here, but the food’s a nice side benefit.”

He nodded. “Make mistakes a few times, but each one only once. Easy to get sick, eating things here, but also things that not anywhere else. Oh! Reminds me. You want to try more veryli?”

“Yeah, I totally forgot!” That homemade liquor he’d brought on our first date was strong, but it was also damn good. Blew Walker’s amiza right out of the water, in my opinion. I handed him my cup, and he poured us both a slug of veryli from a green glass bottle.

“Gampai!” I raised my cup.

“Rohkkel’yw!” He clinked his against it and we drank. The stuff was as ferociously strong as I remembered, but the spicy herbal flavor cut the alcohol pretty well. Even after a big meal it warmed my stomach.

“Whoof. That stuff’s not messing around.”

Pengyi got his down with nary a cough or gasp. “Is supposed to be strong. Some clans water theirs, but this is incorrect.” He said it with all the conviction one might say ‘The sky is dark.’

“You make this yourself too?”

He nodded. “Still is not near here. Not want to burn down my house. But yes, make it and mix it here, collect spices and plants nearby…” He raised an eyebrow, and I slid my cup over so he could refill both.

“There you go. Another reason to know the joint so well. Speaking of-“ I pointed at the old brochure on the wall. “Is that what I think it is?”

“Oh! Yes, from long ago when Admin make this place.” He walked over to it and I followed, plunking down on the couch and sipping my drink. “Is crazy, right? Think they can do anything…Northmarch give me this paper. We both think is very, very funny.”

“How come?”

He sat next to me, and though he still looked at the wall his bare arm brushed against mine. “Shows they not as strong as they think. Think they perfect, Sharkie, but then they make mistake like this, make Park.” The smile he showed me now was sharp, fanged. It made his face into something alluring yet dangerous. “Someday, they make another mistake. Someday, the people they forgot about - us, Sharkie - someday we be ready.” His words stirred something in me, sure, but they also made me think of Marie’s proposal from last night. I’d thought she was crazy, still did - but the idea of getting back at Admin, shoving their face in the dirt for once, was intoxicating.

“But…who knows. Northmarch think about this much more than I do. I just…just surviving, really. Sound sad, to say out loud. Now, though…” He met my eyes, and I felt his hand rest tentatively on top of mine.

“Now you’re stuck dealing with me.” I took his hand, leaned closer.

He grinned again, that same sly expression from earlier. “Do you want to…”

“Yes.” He tilted his head back and I kissed him long and deep. He pushed against me, his arms bringing me into an embrace. I returned the favor, relishing the tautness of his muscles as my hand slid down to his lower back. After what felt like ages our lips parted. I looked down at his face from so close our foreheads touched. He was flushed, breathing hard, a few stray strands of auburn hair stuck to his cheeks. I probably looked about the same.

“You are good at that,” he managed to whisper.

“R-really?” Not the most romantic thing to say, but I wasn’t used to that kind of compliment. “We can do it more, if you want…” I pulled gently at the hem of his tank top.

“Yes…” He pulled away just long enough to take it off, and I was on him so fast I didn’t see where he threw it. His fingers dragged lightly through my hair while I slid down to kiss his neck, his chest, to lay my cheek against the warmth of his flat stomach. I was eye-level with his waistband now, and if I’d had any doubts he was enjoying himself they’d be long gone. I recalled the expression he’d worn in the alley while I undid his waistband with eager, clumsy hands. I wanted to make him feel good, for him to show me that face again-

“Sharkie. Y-you don’t-“ I looked up at him and paused, seeing a suddenly unsure look on his face.

“It’s alright, Pengyi. I want to, really-“

“Just- just wait, please. I need to…” His whispery voice was strained, his ears flattened back.

Shit! Shit shit shit! I moved away immediately, sure I’d ruined things. Stupid, horny idiot, I berated myself. You went too far. You hurt him. “I’m sorry, man, I’m so sorry! I shouldn’t have done that, should’ve asked you, made sure you-“

“No, no! That not it, Sharkie! Khura khorvai’lw…” he swore to himself. “I want to too. But…I can’t.”

A rapid-fire torrent of reasons whipped through my head. Was is a religious thing, part of his culture? Did he have someone else? Did he just not want me to do it? “…How come?” I managed to ask, voice meek.

“Is…” He was struggling to explain it himself. “Is-is like, I have not been honest with you.” A chill rippled through me but I stayed quiet. “Last time, you- you tell me what your job is. What you do. You not want to be misleading to me, so you tell me truth.”

“But I thought you said it didn’t matter!” It came out louder than I’d meant it to, but I was confused and upset.

“It doesn’t! Is not how I feel! It is - Zilvey farech’lw! This fucking language! It is, you care enough for me to tell me who are you, to give me chance to- to decide for myself. I need to give you same chance. Tell you why I am here in Park, without any people. Tell you how I get this.” He tilted his chin up, pointed at the thin, straight scar that crossed his throat.

“I - I get what you’re saying, Pengyi. But you don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to! Listen, I know you now, and whatever happened before that’s enough. You really don’t-“

“Please.” It was the loudest I’d ever heard him speak, the only time he’d talked above a whisper, and it stopped me in my tracks. His voice was an awful, ruined croak, utterly at odds with his beautiful looks. It made a wave of concern for him well up in me, and a wave of anger at whoever had hurt him.

“I never talk about with anyone else,” he continued, his normal whisper even quieter than usual. “Even Northmarch. Need to tell you. But also need to tell it for me.” He looked at me. His green eyes were vulnerable, almost scared. “I sorry for-“

“Don’t be. I’ll listen. You can tell me, and I’ll listen.” I sat down next to him once more, and after a moment’s hesitation I took his hand. He leaned against me, and with his head on my shoulder began to speak.

—

I am born twenty-two years ago into Clan Kin’vendlw- in your words is Clan Steady Hand. My father is clan headman, my mother is his wife. But is two bad omens on my birth. First, my mother…she dies in labor. She was fierce and beautiful. All like her, I am told. From her I get this red hair. And I carry her off when I am born. This is bad sign, my people say, means child will be selfish, take much from clan and not give back. Also, I am born with these ears, these eyes, this…face. Once all of my people were same. Admin make us this way. To be their pets. But now, much mixing with regular humans. Is rare for child to be born like me. Rare and bad. Means I am close to the slavers that made us, that still we hate so much. So I am cursed twice as soon as I am born.

Growing up…it was not good. My clan from Six Lords Town. Is big dark-place of many tall ruins, some trees - though not so many as Park. All young people of clan, we learn hunting, stalking, moving silent, killing silent. Fighting and shooting, too. I am good at all these things. Too good. Others in clan, they are resenting of me. My ears, eyes, nose, balance…all better than normal, all because of Admin - what is word - genes. Gene crafting. They whisper any strength I have is strength of Admin, that it is not to be trusted. Say my father help me in secret, even, or I cheat. So I try being worse. Get caught when sneaking, missing shots. Then they say I am weak and cowardly, too pretty for man, better pet of slavers than man of Kin’vendlw. So I stop that and go back to being better. Some people hate me. Steal my gear, ambush me, try and fight me four or five at once. Sometimes I can deal with it, sometimes not, but I never do it back. At time, I think this will make them right if I do, that I really not part of clan.

My father- my father does not stop them either. Is already bad for him, to be headman and have son like me. He cannot treat me different from others - maybe he must even treat me worse. Father…I think he try to love me. He is sometimes proud for me. Gave me my shotgun. But he look at me, and all the time remember my mother and why she is dead, so it is hard for him.

Not all hate me, at first. There are some who are friendly, some who are even my friend. One or two who are more than friends. A boy my age, Raukias his name. He was…dear to me. Is not perfect. I still eat alone most of time. No one help me on hunts, unless they are needing to. Living with my father, it is like sharing home with stranger most of time. But…for some while it is okay. I am happy, even.

But it does not last. Maybe it is that we are getting older, close to when we become full members of clan. Maybe is just because I still do too well. Not getting caught, winning our sparring. My friends drift away, talk to me less or not at all. Some go with the ones who cause me trouble now. Even Raukias, who I thought was…I don’t know. He will not see me anymore either. I try same thing as I did before, doing worse than I can. Make them less jealous, I think. Stupid. Not work at all. I do well, they are resenting toward me. I do bad, they call me weak. Still I can’t win. I am alone again, now.

At seventeen we take our trial. In your words, ah…Test of Broken Chains. Proves what we have learned, that we are skilled and quiet and strong. That we rule dark, not dark rules us. Is like a race. Our eyes are covered, and we are taken to different places out in ruins, and we must hunt something and get back to town fast as we can. Few supplies, few lights. Is like race, contest, festival. I am taken farther away than any others. Is no surprise, not now. Still is easy, fast. Look for tracks, find hahayli- beast with fur, horns, eight legs, we eat often- take it and butcher it. But I am not thinking about this, really. Can help each other, for this test. Is not have to be alone, but of course I am. So I am distracted, stalking through woods, moving fast and not pay attention. Then I hear voice - Raukias. He is shouting, in pain, asking for help. I do not even think, I just go to sound.

Come to old building, walls mostly gone. Floor too, just basement left. I get there and I am pushed in, fall six feet about. Above on ledge I see people I know. Murat, who hates me and has hurt me before. Ilym and Mhaira, who once were my friends, now who are Murat’s. Two or three others who make trouble for me too. And Raukias. First I think they fool him too, make him do this. But no. He is with them. Not laughing, like others, but he will not look at me.

They jump down. I try to fight, but there are six of them. End up on ground, beaten badly. Raukias does not hit me, but he does not stop them. They take the meat I caught, that I need for trial. Murat say I should go be fuck by slavers, not be warrior of Kin’vendlw. Say I am thing of Admin since when I was born. They climb out of basement and leave me there. After long while I am strong enough to get up. Some fingers broken, but I can move still. Go slowly to spot I know, manage to take kayak’rs- small ground bird, smallest thing worth eating. Limp home.

I am last to come back. All others have made it. Party is over. My father ask me, what take so long? He can see my bruises. Still asks. I tell him. He nods and tells me go to bed. Next morning he does nothing, mentions it not at all. I not expect him to, but…I hoped. No more after that.

Now it is hard, some days, to rise out of bed. Things worse. I wonder why I am still trying, why bother even to do well. Not speak to anyone. Avoid my father. Snap and curse when anyone try speak to me. Murat does not say or do anything.    Doesn’t have to. Just watches me, smiles at me. I am hated, mocked by everyone already. Start going on hunts farther and farther, longer and longer. Always alone. Sometimes don’t bring enough food, enough water, enough ammo. Stop paying attention, not listening for pergato and sayyalè and other dangerous things. Move louder and louder through ruins. Sometimes wait in tree, or some old building…wait and think why I am still here at all. Would be better for everyone I know if not. Maybe better for me. I not do anything, not yet. But I think of it more and more.

But before I can act on thoughts, it happens. I am hunting, very far from village. Not bring any supplies at all, really, just knife and gun and canteen of water. Stupid. Am angry. Moving fast, moving loud, not paying attention. Stupid. Finally when I slow down, think I hear something. Look around, nothing. But before I can keep moving, whack! in back of my head.

When I wake up Murat is kneeling over my chest. He has machete to my throat and he is smiling. Finally found you, he say. Thought you would take care of self, but you taking too long. I do it, he says. I look behind him. With him he has Ilym and Mhaira and Raukias. Ilym and Mhaira are watching, smiling. Raukias is not smiling but he watches still. I look at his eyes and he looks away.

Murat pushes blade harder. Cuts my neck a little, right here. Is not right for our headman to have such a son, he says. Maybe I kill you. Maybe I make you into daughter for him. I not decide yet. But today your last day as man of Kin’vendlw, slaver’s boywhore. Others laugh. Raukias just stand there. I wonder what I did, to make him like this towards me.

I start thinking. My arms under Murat’s knees, but I can pull them out, probably. Bend back fast, and maybe I get away from knife and shove him off my chest. Get away. I know I am faster than he is through ruins and woods. But get away to what? What is for me there at home? Others of clan hate me. My father wish I never born. Maybe should just push into knife, kill myself before Murat torture me. Go out on own terms, at least.

But then is voice in my head, like great red thunderbolt of glass storm. What. Do. You. Owe. Them? All my life I have tried to be proper man of Clan Kin’vendlw. But why? They teach me, feed me as child, but never happy to. Now treat me like worst criminal, when I have done nothing. Whole time I have tried to be useful for them. But really, they useless to me, worse than useless. Have made me into man that would rather die than live. No longer.

I bend up hard as I can, yank my arms out. Knife cuts deeper but not too far before Murat fall off me. I turn and put knuckles into his neck, crush breathing pipe. Others are moving. Mhaira have my shotgun but I grab Murat first. Hold him like shield, pull pistol from his sling. Two shots for Mhaira before she pulls trigger, two for Ilym. Both down. One in back of Murat’s head. Drop him and aim at Raukias. Take slack out of trigger. One shot left. He is frozen, staring at me scared. I not sure what to do. Watch each other for few seconds. Then he run away. I don’t shoot. He doesn’t look back.

Not sure what to do now. First I try bandage my neck. Did not cut blood pipes - I am not dead so I know this - but still hurts, still is hard to breathe. I take bandage from Murat’s corpse and tie it up as best I can. Take my shotgun back from Mhaira, take other supplies from bodies too. Leave their weapons and do not take scalps. Whoever find them see this and know they unworthy opponents. Think about where to go. I raise hand against others of my clan, do them harm. Kill people who born and raised me. No one will believe self-defense, not from me. I am naithling, now, clanless, without family. Good, I think. Other clans will treat me same as mine did, even if they take me in. Good, I think. Not want to join them. I will make own way now.

Not thinking straight from hit to head, but still I can read a compass. Go south and west, where there are less ruins and more trees and the plants grow strange. Go farther and farther until I am in Park. Growing tired, feels like bad drunk. Find this place, almost ruined then. Climb up and pass out. Wake up, drink water and eat jerky, pass out again. Wake up again. Neck hurts too much to eat or drink. Mouth is dry. Too tired to move. Decide that I am dying. Wish I realize truth sooner, but still glad I did. Pass out again, and when I wake up someone else is there. Ask who he is, he says Northmarch, and he will help.

In and out for long time after that. Hard to remember. Northmarch clean out my neck, stitch it up, feed me soup and broth. Help me like he know me all his life. I ask him why, once, when I am well enough to speak. He tell me we are brothers. I say, I never see you in my life. He says, we are both born of dark, so we are brothers, and brothers help each other. I do not say anything back, but I think he can see me crying.

He stay with me until I am healing well, help me set this place up, give me some supplies. I tell him I have nothing to trade, can’t pay. He says he knows, and this is not why he helped me. He need to go now, he tell me, but he will see me again. This three years ago now and I see him several times since then. Still have not repaid, I think. So. This is how I get my scar. This is what I have done. This is who I am.

—

Pengyi was still and silent once he’d finished, though it took me a moment or two to even realize he was done speaking. My hands were clenched into fists and a chill, black rage filled my head. Mental gears spun, trying to figure out a way to get to Six Lords Town, to find Pengyi’s old clan and make them fucking pay - No, I told myself. No. They aren’t who matters. He is.

He’d seen my reaction and tensed up in turn. “Sh-sharkie, I-“ His voice cut off as I pulled him into a tight hug, touched my cheek to his.

“It’s okay,” I mumbled into his ear. “It’s okay. I promise.”

He was still unsure, stiff in my arms. “You are not leaving?” His voice quavered. “Do not h-hate me?”

“Of course not!” I almost snapped, pulling back to look into his eyes. A lot of things about him made sense now that I’d heard this. “I would have done the same thing.” No. That wasn’t quite right. “In fact, I-I probably would have done something way worse. I don’t hate you, Pengyi. I hate that you had to go through that. But, even so…I’m glad you’re here with me.”

His lips parted but no sound came out. Instead I saw the sparkle of tears in his eyes an instant before he hugged me back, face buried in my shoulder, clinging to me like he’d float away and disappear if he let go. I kept holding him, a strange feeling welling up in my chest. It took a moment to realize what it was. Right now, Pengyi needed me. My friends cared for me, my dad loved be, but I’d never been needed like this before. Usually I felt awkward trying to comfort people when something bad happened, but even I could figure out that right now I just had to be here for him.

I held him close until his tears subsided and he loosened his grip. When he pulled away his face was red, eyes puffy.

“Thank you,” he whispered, even quieter than usual.

I put a hand on his shoulder and gave him a gentle shake. “No need.”

“Still.” He blinked rapidly, and to my surprise a shy smile crossed his face. “M-maybe on third try we will have normal date.”

It shocked a laugh out of me despite the circumstances. “Between the two of us, Morranne, I don’t know if normal’s ever gonna be in the cards. Closer to normal, though…maybe we can manage that.”

“Right. This is good.” He smiled again, looking a bit calmber already. I wasn’t sure about what I was going to say next, but I figured things couldn’t get any more emotionally fraught at this point.

“This is kind of a weird time to ask this, Pengyi, but…you remember the first time we met? We were talking about Northmarch, and you said something along the lines of liking him? N-not that it’s a problem, I’m just…I guess I’m curious about where you stand. Not trying to accuse you of anything-“

He waved that away. “Is fine, is fine.” He thought about it a few moments, face pensive. “Mmh. Is like this. He help me when no one else did, and he is smart, motivated, good-looking, yes?”

“Right.” For me Northmarch was just on the wrong side of unsettling, but I could see how someone would find him handsome.

“But…relationships not for him. For him, cause is all there is. To help tornagena, and even people of city that aren’t Admin. This why he live. No room in his head for anything else. So, used to be I imagine something between me and him, but is just daydream. Never would happen.”

I nodded. “That makes sense of it. Appreciate you answering; I know it was a weird question.”

“All good.” He glanced at me sidelong. “It bother you, that I am with men before?”

“No,” I shrugged. “I mean, I’m into women too. Does that bother you?”

“Course not.” He gave me a sheepish look. “Kind of…kind of exciting, being honest.”

I rubbed the back of my neck. “Uh…likewise.”

He let out a laugh at that. “I glad. Makes me feel not as weird.” As I watched, he closed his eyes and breathed slowly in, then out. When he opened them he seemed far less fragile than a moment ago, like he’d come to a decision. The way he looked at me sent a pleasant shiver up my spine. “Is not other people here now, though…”

I was pretty sure what he was getting at. “We could finish that normal date now. If you like.” I leaned closer and he didn’t pull away.

“Y-yes. I like.”

“…Upstairs, maybe?”

“Yes.” We stood up at the same time, laughed, and practically raced each other up the ladder.

—

Later we lay together on Pengyi’s low, futon-like mattress. He half-slept beside me, head pillowed on my arm and my hand resting lightly on his naked chest.    I didn’t mind; I was almost as tired myself. That felt good, I thought as I watched his face. Really really good. It wasn’t just for the obvious reasons. For a little while there’d been no pretenses, no worries about how I looked or acted or came off to others. Just…honesty, closeness, baring myself to him as he did the same for me. Maybe I was reading too much into it like a character in one of my melodramatic novels, but for now, Kingsdammit, I didn’t care.

Just as the thought crossed my mind Pengyi’s eyes fluttered open. When he saw me looking at him he didn’t say anything, just smiled lazily and snuggled closer. I pressed my lips to his forehead and laid back myself. For a few moments we weren’t genetic experiments or hired killers or victims of the city. We were just two people, comforting each other in the face of the dark.

No one, I thought as I drifted off to sleep. I won’t let anyone take this from me.